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Copyright ©2007
Ibidis Mortem Productions





The Bilge Pumps Merchandise

Category: Celtic/Folk Music



Complete Music Collection Flash Drive
$54.99

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Introducing the Bilge Pumps Music Flash Drive, featuring the complete collection of Bilge Pumps music packed onto a sleek, black, reusable 2GB USB flash drive that will make you the envy of your shipmates. This drive contains the songs and skits from all 7 Bilge Pumps albums,"Bail Money", "The Idiodyssey", "A Pirate's Christmas Wish", "Broadside Buddies", "Brigands with Big'uns", "Greatest Hits Vol. VIII", and "We Don't Know". It also contains a full complement of unreleased songs (including some not even available from our website), demo recordings from 1999, and radio commercials. All-in-all, there are over 195 songs and skits available on the drive! There are also digital booklets for the albums with all the liner notes available on the CD's.

All songs are in MP3 format, compressed at 256 kbps (better than CD quality), and each file comes fully ID3 tagged with album art, lyrics, song info, and more. To top it off, all of our official music videos are included on the drive as well!

We are also offering more incentive to buy for those fans of ours who already own most (if not all) of our music. Anyone who brings one of these flash drives to us at a show can have any Bilge Pumps album they want downloaded to it for only $5.00. That not only includes our previous albums, but any new album we release in the future! Now that's a bargain!

Don't miss your chance to own the musical history of the Bilge Pumps as well as the opportunity to get in on the future at a discount.




"Bail Money" CD
$9.99

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The Bilge Pumps are proud to introduce their seventh CD, "Bail Money", an album recorded live from 3 different venues from 2012 to 2014 and featuring 3 different bands. This album is a great example of the live Bilge Pumps experience as you get the feel of the goofy jokes and shenanigans going on in between songs and the comedy in the songs themselves. It's as if you were seated in the front row of a show... listening over headphones... with the best possible sound mix. Two of the tracks on the album feature Tullamore, and three of the tracks feature The Pride of Bedlam and Traveller Song.

The album contains both new songs and newly recorded versions of songs from our earlier CD's. All in all, there are 18 listed tracks of fun for a buccaneer's ears... and a couple of secret bonus tracks as well that you can't get anywhere else.

This CD is also produced in the CD-TEXT format allowing the songs/album/band to be displayed on certain CD players in your home or car.

Here are the listed songs available on the CD

1) Santiano 10) Johnny Jump Up
2) Blow Ye Winds 11) Shiver My Timbers
3) Strike the Bell 12) The Gun Shanty
4) Banana Boat Pirates 13) Beggarman
5) The Night Pat Murphy Died 14) Ghosts of Heroes
6) Ten Thousand Miles Away 15) The Sailor's Prayer
7) The Farmer 16) The Mermaid
8) The Derelict 17) Seven Bridges Road
9) Grey Funnel Line 18) The Dark Lady

Release date: September 19, 2014
Produced by: Ibidis Mortem Productions
Mixed by: Craig Lutke
Tracks 1-4, 11-14 recorded at: Medieval Fair of Norman on 4/6/2014. Engineered by: James Strauss
Tracks 5-10 recorded at: Pirates on the Prairie II on 8/18/2012. Recorded by: Jeremy Welch
Tracks 15-18 recorded at: the Highlands & Islands Concert on 10/19/2013. Engineered by: Michael Jones





"The Idiodyssey" CD
$9.99

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The Bilge Pumps are back on the high seas with their first nautical music album in over 6 years! Introducing "The Idiodyssey", an album that sounds unlike any Bilge Pumps album before. This album, being a touch more serious-minded than the band's prior albums, is a culmination of 2 years worth of rehearsal, recording, and mixing, and is the band's best sounding album to date. The album contains both new songs and newly recorded version of songs from our out-of-print earlier CD's. There are even a handful of original tunes mixed in. All in all, there are 16 tracks of fun for a buccaneer's ears.

This CD is also produced in the CD-TEXT format allowing the songs/album/band to be displayed on certain CD players in your home or car.

Here are the songs available on the CD

1) Bonnie Ship the Diamond 9) Round the Horn
2) Johnny Jump Up 10) Auckland to the Bluff
3) Larry Marr 11) The Pump Shanty
4) Ranzo Ray 12) Nancy Whiskey
5) Blow the Man Down 13) The Royal Oak
6) Lowlands Low 14) The Ballad of Sam and Marie
7) Bilge Pumps Birthday Song 15) Please Don't Take Me Down
8) The Ballad of Captain Kidd 16) The Mermaid

Release date: October 23, 2012
Produced by: Ibidis Mortem Productions
Engineered & Mixed by: Craig Lutke
Recorded at: Sweatbox Studios, Alvarado, TX





"A Pirate's Christmas Wish" CD
$9.99

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The Bilge Pumps are showing the world how to celebrate the Christmas season pirate-style with their holiday CD, entitled "A Pirate's Christmas Wish". This collection of piratized Christmas carols and holiday songs will shiver your timbers and your yule logs with its irreverent take on 19 holiday classics as well as the original title track. These songs are in addition to the 9 comedy skits spread throughout the CD. Not to mention the obligatory bonus songs as well. It's quite a lot of yuletide fun to help you get through the holidays. This CD is also produced in the CD-TEXT format allowing the songs/album/band to be displayed on certain CD players in your home or car.

Here are the songs available on the CD, along with audio clips so you can listen before you buy.

Pirate Yells Silent Night
A Pirate's Night Before Christmas Jolly Old Saint Nicholas
Pirating a Winter Wonderland I Saw Three Ships
A Pirate's Christmas Wish I Saw Fannie Punching Santa Claus
Blue Christmas It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas
Carol of the Beers The Pirate Christmas Song
More Rum, Gloria! Johnny the Steampunk Pirate
We Wish You a Merry Christmas Deck the Halls
Do You Hear What I Hear The Twelve Days of Christmas
Good Pirate Men Rejoice A Pirate Auld Lang Syne

Release date: October, 2010
Produced by: Ibidis Mortem Productions
Engineered & Mixed by: Craig Lutke
Recorded at: Sweatbox Studios, Alvarado, TX





"Brigands with Big'uns" CD
$9.99

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The Bilge Pumps' third album, "Brigands with Big'uns" is your chance to listen to a true Bilge Pumps experience! It features a combination of live songs recorded from the Pig & Whistle Pub and Queen Mariah shows in 2002 and songs recorded in the studio... including an original tune. It also contains a couple of bonus tracks to make you laugh your socks off as well.
The enclosed booklet also has some funny discarded album titles and their covers and the liner notes are packed with some information about the songs.
Here is a list of the songs from the CD and audio clips of each:
The Smuggler's Song Pirating the Seas Roll the Old Chariot Along
South Australia Weldon The Dark Lady
Fire Maringo Mrs. McGrath The Night Pat Murphy Died
Excursion Around the Bay The Farmer General Taylor
Rolling Down to Old Maui Day of the Clipper Old Dun Cow
Donkey Riding Botany Bay

Release date: March, 2003
Produced by: Ibidis Mortem Productions
Engineered & Mixed by: Rick Sheppard
Recorded at: Mother Dubbers Studio, Dallas, TX; Pig & Whistle Pub, Ft Worth, TX; Queen Mariah riverboat, Lake Worth, TX





"Greatest Hits Vol. VIII" CD
$9.99

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The Bilge Pumps' second album, "Greatest Hits Vol. VIII" is re-mastered and available again! This new version of the CD has 21 listed songs plus 8 comedy skits (including the 6 not included in the previous version) and 3 not-so-secret bonus tracks. We've packed the full 80 minutes available on the CD full of good pirate stuff!
This recording is full of "piratized" versions of traditional tunes, including our versions of Spanish Ladies (A Pirate's Tale), Son of a Gambolier, All For Me Grog, and more!
This CD is also produced in the CD-TEXT format allowing the songs/album/band to be displayed on certain CD players. Check out the audio clips below to sample the songs you know you've gotta have.
Haul Away Joe Roll the Woodpile Down The Derelict
Here's to the Morning Glory Haul, Boys, Haul Son of a Gambolier
Black & Tans Cape Cod Girls All For Me Grog
Drunken Sailor Beer Itches in Me Britches
Wop Jamboree Spanish Ladies (A Pirate's Tale) Beggarman
Leave Her Johnny Ten Thousand Miles Away Eliza Lee
The Black Ball Line The Flying Cloud Grey Funnel Line

Release date: January, 2001
Produced by: Ibidis Mortem Productions
Engineered & Mixed by: Rick Sheppard
Recorded at: Mother Dubbers Studio, Dallas, TX





"Sail! Everything Must Go!" DVD
$9.99

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Believe it! It finally happened! The Bilge Pumps new DVD, entitled "Sail! Everything Must Go!" has finally arrived! It's been many years and tears in the making and now it's here in all of its bilgy glory.
This DVD, with animated menus narrated by the Bilge Pumps' mascot, One-Eyed Willy, features a one-hour Bilge Pumps show recorded on April 5th, 2008 at the Medieval Fair of Norman with a four-camera shoot and recorded digitally to ensure the best possible quality. It features nine songs, including 2 never before released on CD or DVD. (54 minutes)

Isn't it Grand? * Roll the Old Chariot Along * The Dark Lady * Pirating the Seas * Sailor's Hornpipe * The Gun Shanty * Weila Weila * Old Dun Cow * Please Don't Take Me Down

This 2-disc DVD set contains hours of bonus features as well:
The Bilge Pumps 2000-2007 - Features 23 songs from 15 different venues showing many of the different lineups throughout the history of the band. (1 hour 13 minutes)
Ridings on a Donkey - A compilation of 73 of the best "Donkey Riding" city name rhymes caught on tape. (33 minutes)
The Bilge Pumps: Beneath the Music - a documentary about the history of the Bilge Pumps from their beginnings through the year 2007. Featuring never before seen footage and pictures detailing the real and not-so-real events that occurred during the band's existence. (1 hour 47 minutes)
Check out a few of the clips below from the main show:

Release date: November 2008
Produced by: Ibidis Mortem Productions
Edited by: Craig Lutke
Recorded at: Medieval Fair of Norman, Norman, OK

Roll the Old Chariot Along
Isn't it Grand?
Pirating the Seas
The Gun Shanty
Old Dun Cow




Bilge Pumps Embroidered Flag
$9.99

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The Bilge Pumps jolly roger, complete with skull & flintlocks, is what all the fashionable pirates are flying during their looting these days.

This flag, made by our own Fanny the Flag Maker is a very sharp-looking embroidered 16" X 12" black flag with white embroidery featuring the Bilge Pumps skull & flintlocks jolly roger.

Looks great on a wall or on a really short flagpole. Fly it with pride, damn ye!





Bilge Pumps Towel
$4.99

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This 17" x 11" towel is the perfect thing for a pirate to carry around!

Not only will it proudly display to the world what pirate band you listen to with it's skull and flintlocks logo on it, it will also clean up the nastiest mess a pirate can think of... a spilled drink!

You can use this baby to soak up that spilled alcohol and then wring it out over your mouth and not lose a drop. That's the way a pirate does it, baby!





Bilge Pumps Flag Magnet
$4.99

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These 4" X 6" magnets showing the Bilge Pumps skull and flintlocks will show the world what cause you really support... the sweet trade of piracy!

If you're feeling piratical, you can place one of these outdoor-rated, UV-protected magnets on your car, refrigerator, tool box, trailer or other metal object (like a wandering knight) and boldly show the colors to frighten passersby into surrendering their booty!





Jack the Rum Runner Shot Glass
$4.99

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What's one thing a pirate needs more than his rum? Something to hold it in, of course!

These stylin' shotglasses, featuring the name of our newest member, Jack the Rum Runner, are the perfect way to transfer that elixir of the gods between the bottle and your lips... except for the direct pour... but this way is more genteel.





Bilge Pumps Window Decal
$4.99

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These 6" X 4.5" window decals are made of transparent vinyl with band name, skull, and flintlocks in white. They go perfectly on the back window of your vehicle... or the side window... or the front window.... hell you'd better get 8 of them just to make sure you've covered all your bases. Then we can start talking about getting some for the windows of your house.





Bilge Pumps Sew On Patch
$4.99

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This 3.5" wide embroidered sew on patch is perfect to sew on your jacket or great coat or your favorite blankie that you hold tightly during the long cold nights at sea when the boogiemen come to steal away your dollies. No better way to show how tough you are.





Temporary Tattoo (Pair)
$0.99

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These 2" square temporary tattoos are perfect for showing your Bilge Pumps pride... or for getting your children to show it for you. It contains the Bilge Pumps skull and flintlocks logo in black instead of white. They are applied to the skin with water and and will last until removed with oil or alcohol or you shed your skin like a reptile, whichever comes first.





Sharkbait Simon Guitar Pick
$0.99

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This Bilge Pumps guitar pick features the Bilge Pumps' skull and flintlocks on one side and Sharkbait Simon the Scapegoat's signature on the other side. Now you can feel free to break out your mandolin and start strumming along to off-key Bilge Pumps songs just like our own Scapegoat, unless of course, you'd rather drill some holes in them and turn them into earrings.





Bilge Pumps Button

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Select a Style
Group (Chins) $0.99
Group (Surgery) $0.99
Group (Fog) $0.99
Group (Wet) $0.99
Group (Kung Fu) $0.99
Maroon $0.99
Harvey $0.99
John $0.99
Sharkbait $0.99
Splice $0.99
One-Eyed Willy $0.99
Jolly Roger $0.99
Complete Set $9.99

Now you can show your support for your favorite pirates wherever you go with the new Bilge Pumps buttons!

You can choose from a large selection, including: the Bilge Pumps' skull & flintlocks jolly roger, a few group shots of the crew, or you can pick your favorite crew member and keep them next to your heart. One never knows what kind of things a pirate will do to you when your wearing their picture. I guess you'd better try one and find out!





Pirating the Seas Tour T-Shirt

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Select a Size
Mens 5XL $17.99
Mens 4XL $17.99
Mens 3XL $17.99
Mens 2XL $17.99
Mens Medium $14.99
Mens Small $14.99
Womens X-Large $14.99
Womens Medium $14.99
Womens Small $14.99

These Bilge Pumps T-Shirts, with the oh-so-spiffy Bilge Pumps' logo on the front left breast and the "Pirating the Seas Tour" on the back, are what real pirates wear when they're not pirating or singing... or when they are pirating and singing.

The tour lists some of the cities the Bilge Pumps have hit recently and the horrible things that happened once they got there.

When you're wearing one of these fine articles of clothing, you get bought beer all the time. It's a proven fact! Plus, if you give one to your boyfriend/girlfriend/latest conquest then they'll be certain to respect you in the morning.





Johnny Jump Up T-Shirt

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Mens 4XL $17.99
Mens 3XL $17.99
Men's Medium $14.99
Mens Small $14.99
Womens X-Large $14.99
Womens Medium $14.99
Womens Small $14.99

Introducing our first-ever white T-shirt, the Bilge Pumps' Johnny Jump Up T-shirt! It consists of the lyrics to the Bilge Pumps' classic song "Johnny Jump Up" written down the right side of the front, along with a hand-drawn logo and signature. The back of the shirt contains more lyrics to the song molded in the shape of the Bilge Pumps signature skull and flintlocks.

Though deviating from the black T-shirts we've always sold in the past, these shirts will definitely keep you cooler on the hot days you would normally see the Bilge Pumps perform in and add a touch of stylishness to your wardrobe at the same time. Not to mention the fun for the band when it starts to rain and they get wet. (No, they don't dissolve in the rain)






Bilge Pumps Baseball Cap
$14.99

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The Bilge Pumps ballcap is a black, heavy-duty, double-brimmed ballcap with white holes & button. It has the Bilge Pumps skull & flintlocks embroidered on the front. Made from 100% acrylic, it is one-size-fits-all with its heavy-duty velcro adjustment strap on the back.

Embroidered by our own Fanny the Flagmaker, this hat will show off your pirate loyalties to everyone around your neighborhood.





If credit cards aren't your thing and you want to order by mail using a check or money order, click on this link for a printable order form.