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Copyright ©2007
Ibidis Mortem Productions





The Bilge Pumps Merchandise

Category: Celtic/Folk Music



Music Collection Flash Drive
$69.99

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Introducing the Bilge Pumps Music Flash Drive, featuring the complete collection of Bilge Pumps music packed onto a sleek, black, reusable 8GB USB flash drive that will make you the envy of your shipmates. This drive contains the songs and skits from all 8 Bilge Pumps albums,"Planned Piratehood", "Bail Money", "The Idiodyssey", "A Pirate's Christmas Wish", "Broadside Buddies", "Brigands with Big'uns", "Greatest Hits Vol. VIII", and "We Don't Know".

It also contains a full complement of unreleased songs, demo recordings from 1999, and more. All-in-all, there are over 240 songs and skits available on the drive! There are also digital booklets for the albums with all the liner notes available on the CD's.

All songs are in MP3 format, compressed at 256 kbps (better than CD quality), and each file comes fully ID3 tagged with album art, lyrics, song info, and more.

There is even a folder with all 16 of our official music videos included as well.

We are also offering more incentive to buy for those fans of ours who already own most (if not all) of our music. Anyone who brings one of these flash drives to us at a show can have any Bilge Pumps album they want downloaded to it for only $5.00. That not only includes our previous albums, but any new album we release in the future! Now that's a bargain!

Don't miss your chance to own the musical history of the Bilge Pumps as well as the opportunity to get in on the future at a discount.




"Planned Piratehood" CD
$19.99

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The Bilge Pumps are back on the high seas with their first nautical music CD in over 5 years! Introducing "Planned Piratehood", an album that sounds unlike any Bilge Pumps album before. This album, recorded from 2014 to 2018 in their studio in Alvarado, TX, contains over 2 hours and 15 minutes worth of original material, traditional songs, and cover tunes, even some re-recorded songs from their out-of-print CD's. This is also the first double-CD ever released by the Bilge Pumps (possibly the first by a pirate band ever) and is their best album to date.

This album is also produced in the CD-TEXT format allowing the songs/album/band to be displayed on certain CD players in your home or car.

Disc 1 songs (Click a song for a preview) Disc 2 songs (Click a song for a preview)
1) Rowdy Soul 1) Pirating the Seas
2) Piratical Talk 2) One More on a Dead Man's Chest
3) Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes 3) Roll Him Back
4) Lucky Pierre 4) Into the Mystic
5) Farewell to Nova Scotia 5) Rippy the Gator
6) The Final Trawl 6) The Old Black Rum
7) Ghosts of Heroes 7) Paddy Lay Back
8) Privy Wind 8) Roll the Woodpile Down, Pt 1
9) Lowlands Low Round 9) Roll the Woodpile Down, Pt 2
10) Isn't it Grand? 10) Westering Home
11) Ramblin' Rover 11) Pay Me
12) The Sailor's Hornpipe 12) Waterbound
13) The Captain's Daughter 13) Biddy McGrath
14) The Osprey 14) The Southern Cross
15) The House of the Rising Sun 15) The Isle of Tortuga
16) The Coast of High Barbary 16) A Pirate Lullaby
17) Yo Ho 17) Seven Drunken Nights

Release date: February 2, 2019
Produced by: Ibidis Mortem Productions
Engineered & Mixed by: Craig Lutke
Recorded at: Sweatbox Studios, Alvarado, TX





"Bail Money" CD
$9.99

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The Bilge Pumps are proud to introduce their seventh CD, "Bail Money", an album recorded live from 3 different venues from 2012 to 2014 and featuring 3 different bands. This album is a great example of the live Bilge Pumps experience as you get the feel of the goofy jokes and shenanigans going on in between songs and the comedy in the songs themselves. It's as if you were seated in the front row of a show... listening over headphones... with the best possible sound mix. Two of the tracks on the album feature Tullamore, and three of the tracks feature The Pride of Bedlam and Traveller Song.

The album contains both new songs and newly recorded versions of songs from our earlier CD's. All in all, there are 18 listed tracks of fun for a buccaneer's ears... and a couple of secret bonus tracks as well that you can't get anywhere else.

This CD is also produced in the CD-TEXT format allowing the songs/album/band to be displayed on certain CD players in your home or car.

Here are the listed songs available on the CD (Click a song for a preview)

1) Santiano 10) Johnny Jump Up
2) Blow Ye Winds 11) Shiver My Timbers
3) Strike the Bell 12) The Gun Shanty
4) Banana Boat Pirates 13) Beggarman
5) The Night Pat Murphy Died 14) Ghosts of Heroes
6) Ten Thousand Miles Away 15) The Sailor's Prayer
7) The Farmer 16) The Mermaid
8) The Derelict 17) Seven Bridges Road
9) Grey Funnel Line 18) The Dark Lady

Release date: September 19, 2014
Produced by: Ibidis Mortem Productions
Mixed by: Craig Lutke
Tracks 1-4, 11-14 recorded at: Medieval Fair of Norman on 4/6/2014. Engineered by: James Strauss
Tracks 5-10 recorded at: Pirates on the Prairie II on 8/18/2012. Recorded by: Jeremy Welch
Tracks 15-18 recorded at: the Highlands & Islands Concert on 10/19/2013. Engineered by: Michael Jones





"The Idiodyssey" CD
$9.99

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The Bilge Pumps are back on the high seas with their first nautical music album in over 6 years! Introducing "The Idiodyssey", an album that sounds unlike any Bilge Pumps album before. This album, being a touch more serious-minded than the band's prior albums, is a culmination of 2 years worth of rehearsal, recording, and mixing, and is the band's best sounding album to date. The album contains both new songs and newly recorded version of songs from our out-of-print earlier CD's. There are even a handful of original tunes mixed in. All in all, there are 16 tracks of fun for a buccaneer's ears.

This CD is also produced in the CD-TEXT format allowing the songs/album/band to be displayed on certain CD players in your home or car.

Here are the songs available on the CD (Click a song for a preview).

1) Bonnie Ship the Diamond 9) Round the Horn
2) Johnny Jump Up 10) Auckland to the Bluff
3) Larry Marr 11) The Pump Shanty
4) Ranzo Ray 12) Nancy Whiskey
5) Blow the Man Down 13) The Royal Oak
6) Lowlands Low 14) The Ballad of Sam and Marie
7) Bilge Pumps Birthday Song 15) Please Don't Take Me Down
8) The Ballad of Captain Kidd 16) The Mermaid

Release date: October 23, 2012
Produced by: Ibidis Mortem Productions
Engineered & Mixed by: Craig Lutke
Recorded at: Sweatbox Studios, Alvarado, TX





"A Pirate's Christmas Wish" CD
$9.99

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The Bilge Pumps are showing the world how to celebrate the Christmas season pirate-style with their holiday CD, entitled "A Pirate's Christmas Wish". This collection of piratized Christmas carols and holiday songs will shiver your timbers and your yule logs with its irreverent take on 19 holiday classics as well as the original title track. These songs are in addition to the 9 comedy skits spread throughout the CD. Not to mention the obligatory bonus songs as well. It's quite a lot of yuletide fun to help you get through the holidays. This CD is also produced in the CD-TEXT format allowing the songs/album/band to be displayed on certain CD players in your home or car.

Here are the songs available on the CD (Click a song for a preview).

Pirate Yells Silent Night
A Pirate's Night Before Christmas Jolly Old Saint Nicholas
Pirating a Winter Wonderland I Saw Three Ships
A Pirate's Christmas Wish I Saw Fannie Punching Santa Claus
Blue Christmas It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas
Carol of the Beers The Pirate Christmas Song
More Rum, Gloria! Johnny the Steampunk Pirate
We Wish You a Merry Christmas Deck the Halls
Do You Hear What I Hear The Twelve Days of Christmas
Good Pirate Men Rejoice A Pirate Auld Lang Syne

Release date: October, 2010
Produced by: Ibidis Mortem Productions
Engineered & Mixed by: Craig Lutke
Recorded at: Sweatbox Studios, Alvarado, TX





"Greatest Hits Vol. VIII" CD
$9.99

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The Bilge Pumps' second album, "Greatest Hits Vol. VIII" is re-mastered and available again! This new version of the CD has 21 listed songs plus 8 comedy skits (including the 6 not included in the previous version) and 3 not-so-secret bonus tracks. We've packed the full 80 minutes available on the CD full of good pirate stuff!
This recording is full of "piratized" versions of traditional tunes, including our versions of Spanish Ladies (A Pirate's Tale), Son of a Gambolier, All For Me Grog, and more!
This CD is also produced in the CD-TEXT format allowing the songs/album/band to be displayed on certain CD players.
(Click a song for a preview).
Haul Away Joe Roll the Woodpile Down The Derelict
Here's to the Morning Glory Haul, Boys, Haul Son of a Gambolier
Black & Tans Cape Cod Girls All For Me Grog
Drunken Sailor Beer Itches in Me Britches
Wop Jamboree Spanish Ladies (A Pirate's Tale) Beggarman
Leave Her Johnny Ten Thousand Miles Away Eliza Lee
The Black Ball Line The Flying Cloud Grey Funnel Line

Release date: January, 2001
Produced by: Ibidis Mortem Productions
Engineered & Mixed by: Rick Sheppard
Recorded at: Mother Dubbers Studio, Dallas, TX





"Sail! Everything Must Go!" DVD
$9.99

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Believe it! It finally happened! The Bilge Pumps new DVD, entitled "Sail! Everything Must Go!" has finally arrived! It's been many years and tears in the making and now it's here in all of its bilgy glory.
This DVD, with animated menus narrated by the Bilge Pumps' mascot, One-Eyed Willy, features a one-hour Bilge Pumps show recorded on April 5th, 2008 at the Medieval Fair of Norman with a four-camera shoot and recorded digitally to ensure the best possible quality. It features nine songs, including 2 never before released on CD or DVD. (54 minutes)

Isn't it Grand? * Roll the Old Chariot Along * The Dark Lady * Pirating the Seas * Sailor's Hornpipe * The Gun Shanty * Weila Weila * Old Dun Cow * Please Don't Take Me Down

This 2-disc DVD set contains hours of bonus features as well:
The Bilge Pumps 2000-2007 - Features 23 songs from 15 different venues showing many of the different lineups throughout the history of the band. (1 hour 13 minutes)
Ridings on a Donkey - A compilation of 73 of the best "Donkey Riding" city name rhymes caught on tape. (33 minutes)
The Bilge Pumps: Beneath the Music - a documentary about the history of the Bilge Pumps from their beginnings through the year 2007. Featuring never before seen footage and pictures detailing the real and not-so-real events that occurred during the band's existence. (1 hour 47 minutes)
Check out a few of the clips below from the main show:

Release date: November 2008
Produced by: Ibidis Mortem Productions
Edited by: Craig Lutke
Recorded at: Medieval Fair of Norman, Norman, OK

Roll the Old Chariot Along
Isn't it Grand?
Pirating the Seas
The Gun Shanty
Old Dun Cow




Full Size Bilge Pumps Flag
$19.99

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The Bilge Pumps jolly roger, complete with our skull & flintlocks, is what all the fashionable pirates are flying during their looting these days.

These 3ft X 5ft flags are made from matte, knitted, polyester outdoor-rated fabric. They will have grommets to fly/hang the roger as well.

Looks great on a wall, on a flagpole, or flying from the jackstaff of your vessel.

Standard Disclaimer: The Bilge Pumps are not liable if you are arrested for piracy flying our colors... unless we're with you at the time, then it's probably our fault.





Enamel Pin
$9.99

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This sweet little metal and enamel pin is 2 inches wide and 1.5 inches tall and features the traditional Bilge Pumps skull and guns.

The black metal is slightly raised over the white enamel and give it that subtle 3D feeling... probably because it's not 2 dimensional.





Pirate Shopping Bag
$4.99

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These high-quality canvas shopping bags are perfect to haul around your Bilge Pumps booty... and to show off your pirate side at the grocery store when it might not be socially acceptable to wear a cutlass and a brace of pistols.

A handy, dandy shopping list is printed on each side and allows you to remember the things you need to get while your out and about to maintain your freebooting lifestyle. We all know how rum can erase your memory, right?





Bilge Pumps Flag Magnet
$4.99

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These 4" X 6" magnets showing the Bilge Pumps skull and flintlocks will show the world what cause you really support... the sweet trade of piracy!

If you're feeling piratical, you can place one of these outdoor-rated, UV-protected magnets on your car, refrigerator, tool box, trailer or other metal object (like a wandering knight) and boldly show the colors to frighten passersby into surrendering their booty!





4x6 Bilge Pumps Sticker
$2.99

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This vinyl sticker with the full color Bilge Pumps logo is 4" X 6" in size and is UV/moisture resistant to last long indoors or outdoors.

It's perfect for your guitar cases, sword cases, case cases, and for tagging your significant others.





Shot Glass
$4.99

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What's one thing a pirate needs more than his rum? Something to hold it in, of course!

These stylin' shotglasses, featuring the ether the Bilge Pumps logo are the perfect way to transfer that elixir of the gods between the bottle and your lips... except for the direct pour... but this way is more genteel.





Bilge Pumps Window Decal
$4.99

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These 6" X 4.5" window decals are made of transparent vinyl with band name, skull, and flintlocks in white. They go perfectly on the back window of your vehicle... or the side window... or the front window.... hell you'd better get 8 of them just to make sure you've covered all your bases. Then we can start talking about getting some for the windows of your house.





Bilge Pumps Sew On Patch
$4.99

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This 3.5" wide embroidered sew on patch is perfect to sew on your jacket or great coat or your favorite blankie that you hold tightly during the long cold nights at sea when the boogiemen come to steal away your dollies. No better way to show how tough you are.





Bilge Pumps PVC Patch
$4.99

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This PVC rubber patch measures 4.5" X 3" and contains a the full 4-color Bilge Pumps ship, skull, and guns logo.

It has a velcro backing on it to stick to your BDU's, to the roof of your car, or to the walls of your cubicle.





Temporary Tattoo (Pair)
$0.99

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These 2" square temporary tattoos are perfect for showing your Bilge Pumps pride... or for getting your children to show it for you. It contains the Bilge Pumps skull and flintlocks logo in black instead of white. They are applied to the skin with water and and will last until removed with oil or alcohol or you shed your skin like a reptile, whichever comes first.





Bilge Pumps Logo T-Shirt

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Mens 3XL $22.99
Mens 2XL $22.99
Mens X-Large $19.99
Mens Large $19.99
Mens Medium $19.99
Mens Small $19.99

The Bilge Pumps LogoT-Shirts, made by our own Fanny the Flag Maker, have our skull and guns logo on the back and on the front left breast.

It's what real pirates wear when they're not pirating or singing... or when they are pirating and singing.





Bilge Pumps Switch T-Shirt

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Mens 2XL $22.99
Mens X-Large $19.99
Mens Medium $19.99
Mens Small $19.99

These Bilge Pumps T-Shirts have a new log on the front where you get to determine what your Bilge Pumps do for you... suck or blow. Bilge Pumps are equally adept at both, ya know.

When you're wearing one of these fine articles of clothing, you get bought beer all the time. It's a proven fact! (Granted, most of it is thrown at you) Plus, if you give one to your boyfriend/girlfriend/latest conquest then they'll be certain to respect you in the morning.





Bilge Pumps Embroidered Mask
$14.99

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These black cloth masks, hand made by our own Fanny the Flagmaker, are embroidered with our logo on one side. .

They're made with 2 layers of 100% quilting cotton with a metal nose piece and a pocket to place a filter if a filter is desired. (Not included)

For the Medium and Large sizes, the difference is in the length of the ear loops.

Disclaimer: Bilge Pump masks are not medical grade. We do not and can not make any medical or health claims.





If PayPal isn't your thing and you want to order by mail using a check or money order, click on this link for a printable order form.